I'M PROUD TO BE GAY...right?

is it so wrong to be my gay dyke lesbian self? would i sooner go to Hell for being this way than a rapist or murderer? the Bible is thrown into my face. the six single verses condeming those like me repeated overandoverandoverandoverandover...the beautiful psalms and gospels that i so love, that comfort me in the darkness and shed light on my doubts, are completely discarded and thrown in the dust at my feet. they say i am not worthy of the unconditional love of God. i need to be exorcised of my demons. i need to be cured. i need to be ashamed of who i am. i need to shut up and be straight. i need to ignore my pure and natural feelings, push them into the back of my mind, and put on a smile.

it hurts. i want to tear out my hair and scream curses at their self righteous faces. i want to beat them, bloody them, tear them down into nothing, for this is what they do to me EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. only THEY are God's children. only THEY are loved by Him. only THEY can follow in the footsteps of Christ. only they...only them...not i. i am not worthy. i am wrong. i am sick. i am posessed. i am ugly. i am an abomination. i am a mistake. i am sinful. i i i i i i i i i iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii...

...but what about them? this small quiet question rings through my head...WHAT ABOUT THEM? WHAT ABOUT YOU?! judgemental. hateful. loathing. controlling. angry. close minded. intolerant. insensitive. non welcoming. unaccepting. un Christ-like...?

ask yourself this: what would Jesus do? would He cast me away, He who accepted the prostitutes, lepers, sinners, tax collectors, poor, outcast, despised, DIFFERENT. what would He do?
are you any better than me? am i any better than you? in my opinion, NO. no no no no no no no no!!!!!! NO!!!!!!!! NOBODY is more holy. EVERYBODY lives in sin. and God created me, you, the drag queen, the whore, the dyke, the hetero couple, the outcast child, the lonely senior, the leper, the cancer patient, the sinner, the saint. He loves us all. so go out and be like HIM. that's your goal, is it not? so do it. be it. be LOVE. love.

cast me out. rip my heart out of my body and throw it in the dirt. cut me. beat me. break me. call me names. label me. kill me. "cure" me. spit in my face. slap me. punch me. pull out my hair. burn me. whip me. bloody me. throw me into the water to drown. pour salt on my wounds. flog me. tell me i'm nothing. tell me i'm an abomination. tell me God doesn't love me.

but i KNOW that He DOES. i don't give a flying fuck what you say or think or feel. only He who created me. and someday we all shall stand in His glorious presense, naked and vulnerable. exposed. no lies, no mask, only TRUTH. glorious truth. He will know what is in our hearts. is yours filled with hate or love? which one do you think He prefers?

God didn't make one type of butterfly or one type of flower. the world is made of many colors, shapes, sizes...there are NO straight lines in nature. so why should there be in man?